A text from the person who posted these tweets. Legitimizing what she said because of homophobia.
Heterophobia and cisphobia are not real. Systematic oppression is caused by homophobia and transphobia. LOL cishets think they want to be systematically oppressed. No cishets, just no.
Can I ask you a question? How can you say that you hate discrimination and then discriminate? How can you fight for equality and preach hate?
A lot of us are fighting less for equality than our own survival and well-being. Remember that.
We are not practicing discrimination. We are practicing caution and, sure, anger. We’re fucking allowed to be angry at a group of people that has taken away our rights, oppressed us, and in some places, killed us.
We’re allowed to be angry at a group of people that get much angrier about ~reverse oppression~ and ~heterophobia~ than at the homophobia and heterosexism they spew daily.
We’re allowed to want nothing to do with a group of people that has proven time and time again that we should not trust them, for every time, we will be let down brutally and awfully.
Most of us do not hate every single cishet person.
A lot of us have good friends who are cishet.
But we are able to be friends with those people because they have proved themselves to be trustworthy. They have proved themselves to be aware of their privilege and aware of how what they say and do in regards to gender and sexuality affects us.
They’ve proven to be legitimate allies, or at least they’ve proven to be aware of their ability to oppress us and kept themselves in check.
Most of us know few people like this.
So we make posts about cisheterophobia, because it helps us get through the day.
And because we seriously don’t give a fuck about the feelings of the people who are more offended by our complaints about the things they themselves do than the abuse we suffer.
people are not offended by your complaints, people are offended that some of these people literally cannot talk to a person on the other side without screaming and cursing at them. ever. and persons on the other side are to some of the “oppressed” group absolutely unable to be spoken to for mundane reasons.
THAT is why we’re frustrated, not because youre upset or because youre reacting but because every single time you encounter someone who is not in your group and either questions or has a slightly different thought, theyre automatically discounted without being listened to and are then berated.
it may not be “racism” or “phobia” or whatever by your definition but its still hating on another person for pretty arbitrary reasons. people like them may have done things to your group but that doesnt mean you discount the entire group and cease conversation. conversation and empathy is how we get to understand each other.
you have every right to be upset and angry and frustrated but you no more than i have the right to berate other people.
Look, if someone doesn’t want to be talking to you, don’t fucking talk to them.
If someone doesn’t want to answer your question, don’t ask it.
Sure, conversation and empathy are good, but a lot of us are absolutely sick of answering the same questions over and over again, or of having to combat microaggressions (“who is the man in your relationship?” or “but isn’t pansexual the same thing as bisexual” and so on and so forth) or of being expected to respect people’s opinions when their opinions are that we are unnatural, that we are sinful.
If you want to understand something like what a certain term means, GOOGLE IT! We don’t need you in our ask boxes.
Basically, if you are straight and cis, you do not have a place to come in and “question” our thoughts, or whatever you said. That is not your place. Because what you’re really doing is questioning our humanity, and that is not okay at all.
People fighting against homophobia and lesbophobia and biphobia and transphobia and transmisogyny are fighting for their right to be seen as human beings.
People fighting against “cisphobia” and “heterophobia” are fighting for their right to be shitty human beings.
You do not get to tell people who have “ceased conversation” that the can not do so.
Because many of us do it for our own safety, either bodily or mentally.
Some of us need to shut out that part of the world in order to convince ourselves that this world is worth living in.
When we berate people, we are doing it because they have hurt us and we want them to realize that they hurt us and stop hurting us.
I don’t think anyone wants to have to hate cishet people.
But if the only message we are getting from 99% of the cishet people that we know is that they are perfectly willing to walk all over us and not acknowledge it, or even laugh?
Then yeah, I’m going to have some problems with them.
If you want me to stop having those problems, you can do one of two things:
1. Start educating your peers. Help straight cis people learn about their privilege and its effects. If you are straight and cis, you are in a position of privilege. Instead of using it to tell off queer people for fighting back, use it to help get straight cis people to stop attacking us.
2. If that is something you are not comfortable with, just educate yourself. Learn. When you enter a queer space, be aware that you are not who it is catering towards. If people ask you to leave, leave. Never speak over a queer person when it comes to queer issues. Always be open to being called out, and when you are called out, apologize. Do not excuse your behavior. You were in the wrong. Learn from it.
Then, we can be friends.
I have a lot of straight cis friends. Every single one of them (the ones I actually trust… I have a lot more cishet “friends” than real ones) has proved to me that they will do those things. If they don’t, they’re no friend at all. Same goes for allies.
I’m up for continuing this discussion, but please know that you aren’t going to change my mind, and that I will never think that oppressed people aren’t allowed to hate their oppressors.
hi, im gay? and when MY peers say something ignorant of whatever group, guess who says something?
i dont think that anyone should have to be berated as the first response to something. no. because that is extremely disrespectful. i wouldnt want someone writing off my thoughts or opinions because im gay as long as its not rude, why in the world not expect the same of anyone else?
ive heard your argument before. basically it looks like it boils down to “we might be having a bad day so we get to berate you” or “weve seen this 3000 times before so we get to berate you for having some ignorance”
honestly, do you think thats helping anyone? cause i dont. i think it just makes people look as bad as their “oppressors”. and most of this stuff is not just “google it” answers. most of this is deeper, more in depth stuff where one very extreme point of view is not always the best way to look at things if we ever want to agree on anything in this world. i wont always say something if i seriously dont agree with something but occasionally i do. because it bothers me on such a deep level, whatever it is. because perhaps, the idea presented is seriously backwards.
the long and the short is that as far as im concerned, hate is never the way to deal with hate. extreme dislike, voluntary separation, whatever you need. but hating on other people because they hate on you, well taking an eye for an eye is gonna leave us all blind isnt it? and frankly, the mini aggressions of the SJ crowd on here are hardly worthy of hate. big things, absolutely worthy of distaste. but someone accidentally using the wrong word for something? lets be real.